Our Lost Prophet

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I've been a part of this writing community since its first phase! Now they're starting phase three so it's a good time for you to join. If you're looking for a writing community with fun challenges, deadlines to keep you on track, and lots of community spirit - come join in the fun!

LJ is down again so writing some things in my backup journal here so I can keep track of them. Health things mostly. I am still trying to figure out the underlying cause of these respiratory ailments.

I went to the dentist today and they said I have many infected teeth that are causing a septic infection in my body. They say that is what could be causing my heart / blood pressure problems as well as the respiratory issues. So getting the teeth taken care of would be a good thing. Unfortunately they want $4000 after insurance. And this is money we don't have. We have a complete print out of all the work they say I need, so we will try to shop around to other dentists. 1000 of it is to make the partial dentures they say I will need. 500 dollars is for the sedation - I need to be knocked out though. Very much need to be knocked out. My dental phobia is extreme.

I had a shit ton of xrays today and I managed not to freak out too much with all the people poking and prodding in my mouth and telling me to bite strange things. They even did a 360 around my head with an MRI kind of thing.

I have to get my chest xray tomorrow (whee more radiation) so that they can rule out pneumonia with the breathing thing. I'm now on a second course of steroids and antibiotics, and two inhalers - a rescue inhaler and advair. My blood still isn't getting oxygenated enough. Especially when I lie down at night, it's so painful to draw a deep breath.

I may have to wait till January to have my teeth taken care of because that's when Aus gets his bonus from work, and shortly after our tax refund. The thought that it's likely all going to go to my medical bills is depressing. I hate that I cause us all this money shortage by my poor health

Live journal is down as I'm trying to post this entry so I'm posting it here for now and will likely crosspost it later. I hear it's easy to set up crossposting here, woot- so have to check that out.

I'm having a bit of a difficult time right now. Recovering from surgery and two of my favorite uncles died this week. Because of not being able to get out of bed and because of my estrangement from my immediate family, I couldn't go to uncle Joe's funeral and I can't go to Uncle Leon's funeral either. I loved them both very much- they were amazing uncles.

Every time I saw uncle Joe when I was a kid, he gave me some money to buy something fun. He didn't need to do that to be a great uncle though - I also just liked hugging him and talking to him and hearing about his life and what he was up to now. He was a quiet kind of guy. When he got older and his wife died, he used to spend a lot of time doing jigsaw puzzles. He would then glue them together and make them into pictures - he gave a couple to me. We used to go over his house a lot when I was a kid and it was always fun.

Uncle Leon was the guy I wanted to be when I grew up. He was very smart, and a total badass - and he had the best stories. He was a teamster and a union organizer. He had some wild adventures in his youth. He loved the history channel and documentaries, and we would often talk about history things and what we'd watched. We used to share books - he'd read something he thought I might like and i'd do the same for him and then we'd discuss them. He and my aunt Marie often had gatherings at their house when I was growing up. Some of my best childhood memories happened there.

Here's a picture of uncle Joe, and one of Uncle Leon. These are both from a lunch we had with them and my mom in 2008 I think it was. We used to get together every now and then. Here's uncle Leon's obituary, and uncle Joe's.

I will miss them very much and I think my life is better for having known them. They were both in their late eighties and had very full lives, so it's not entirely unexpected just-- I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye.

Rest in peace, uncles.